"I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. I LOVE this song. I've had it on my iPod for a while and I've listened to it a lot in the past but I didn't really listen to it for the sake of listening until a few days ago. I've had it stuck in my head ever since.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
New Goals Part One!!!
**Just to forewarn anyone reading this, it is most likely going to be a long winded post... But aren't they always?**
Growing up I was that kid that always knew what/who they wanted to be. If you asked me at any point between the ages of 6 and 19 what I wanted to do when I "grew up", the answer was always that I wanted to be an attorney. As a kid I always had questions about anything and EVERYTHING, I love(d) a good debate, and I have always felt an intense need to stand up for whomever I deemed to be the underdog. I remember the exact moment that I decided that I wanted to be an attorney. As stupid as this is going to sound, it was the first time that I saw the movie A Few Good Men. There is this part in the movie when Lt. Galloway (Demi Moore's character) says this little speech to Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise's character) about how being an attorney wasn't about always winning but about standing up, making an argument, and fighting for what is right. That part really stuck in my head and I always had this glamorous idea of what attorneys did.
Then in college I started working for a law firm and I learned that it truth the practice of law was much more about Lt. Kaffee's always win-even-if-you-have-to-plea-bargain version than Galloway's make-an-argument-stand-up-for-what's-right version. Our criminal clients were dirt bags, you know like repeat sex offenders and people on like their 3rd or 4th DUI's. There were many other reasons but I hated almost everything about my job. On the other hand, I loved all of my pre-law classes and I did really well. I loved, and still love, law in theory. What I finally figured out though it that I love law more philosophically than practically. I mean I probably could have gone to law school and made a decent career out of it. I probably could have even been a cut throat shark if I really wanted to. But the thing was, I didn't want to do that. I know that if I gave in to succeed, I would lose part of my soul. No amount of success is worth losing your soul.
It took me a while to really accept that I didn't want to be an attorney. I had this goal for so long that I didn't really know where I ended and my goals started. My family was so supportive of me and they believed in me so much so that I felt if I didn't want to go to law school, I was letting them down. In particular, my dad was probably the one person in my life that never questioned my ambitions. Other people may have told me to pick a more reasonable goal, like perhaps being a nice teacher, but my dad always believed that I could achieve anything that I really wanted to. I don't think it was completely unreasonable to question my goals since I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. Part of the reason that I felt like I was letting them all down was that I didn't know what I wanted to do if I wasn't going to be a lawyer.
I should probably state that my intention all along was to be a human rights attorney. Obviously you are probably asking yourself what would be so wrong with doing that. The answer is that there is nothing wrong with that, and that I would still love to do that. However, the reality is that I am not independently wealthy. In order to go to law school I would need to go much further in debt than I already am from my undergrad education. Unfortunately, human rights law isn't exactly lucrative. This means that I would need to figure out some way of just paying off my loans... soooo I would most likely have to go into some kind of a general practice first. I knew that if I ever let myself get sucked into something like that I would never leave or do any of the things I want to do.
My number one passion in life is probably human rights and social justice. For me these things are connected to my personal faith. I feel like if we were created by God and if God loves all human beings unconditionally, then the least we can do is love our fellow human beings as well. Part of loving your neighbor is making sure that everyone is given the love and respect that they deserve as human beings. I also feel that when you hurt and dehumanize another person, you dehumanize yourself. So in an effort to retain my humanity, I must at least make an attempt to prevent others from being treated cruelly and inhumanly.
O.k. sooo getting on to my new goal/ambition... I have decided that I want to work in the non profit sector with organizations that advocate human rights and social justice. My ultimate goal is to start my own non profit human rights organization. I will write specifics in my next blog because this one is getting really long and taking me fooooorever to write.
Growing up I was that kid that always knew what/who they wanted to be. If you asked me at any point between the ages of 6 and 19 what I wanted to do when I "grew up", the answer was always that I wanted to be an attorney. As a kid I always had questions about anything and EVERYTHING, I love(d) a good debate, and I have always felt an intense need to stand up for whomever I deemed to be the underdog. I remember the exact moment that I decided that I wanted to be an attorney. As stupid as this is going to sound, it was the first time that I saw the movie A Few Good Men. There is this part in the movie when Lt. Galloway (Demi Moore's character) says this little speech to Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise's character) about how being an attorney wasn't about always winning but about standing up, making an argument, and fighting for what is right. That part really stuck in my head and I always had this glamorous idea of what attorneys did.
Then in college I started working for a law firm and I learned that it truth the practice of law was much more about Lt. Kaffee's always win-even-if-you-have-to-plea-bargain version than Galloway's make-an-argument-stand-up-for-what's-right version. Our criminal clients were dirt bags, you know like repeat sex offenders and people on like their 3rd or 4th DUI's. There were many other reasons but I hated almost everything about my job. On the other hand, I loved all of my pre-law classes and I did really well. I loved, and still love, law in theory. What I finally figured out though it that I love law more philosophically than practically. I mean I probably could have gone to law school and made a decent career out of it. I probably could have even been a cut throat shark if I really wanted to. But the thing was, I didn't want to do that. I know that if I gave in to succeed, I would lose part of my soul. No amount of success is worth losing your soul.
It took me a while to really accept that I didn't want to be an attorney. I had this goal for so long that I didn't really know where I ended and my goals started. My family was so supportive of me and they believed in me so much so that I felt if I didn't want to go to law school, I was letting them down. In particular, my dad was probably the one person in my life that never questioned my ambitions. Other people may have told me to pick a more reasonable goal, like perhaps being a nice teacher, but my dad always believed that I could achieve anything that I really wanted to. I don't think it was completely unreasonable to question my goals since I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. Part of the reason that I felt like I was letting them all down was that I didn't know what I wanted to do if I wasn't going to be a lawyer.
I should probably state that my intention all along was to be a human rights attorney. Obviously you are probably asking yourself what would be so wrong with doing that. The answer is that there is nothing wrong with that, and that I would still love to do that. However, the reality is that I am not independently wealthy. In order to go to law school I would need to go much further in debt than I already am from my undergrad education. Unfortunately, human rights law isn't exactly lucrative. This means that I would need to figure out some way of just paying off my loans... soooo I would most likely have to go into some kind of a general practice first. I knew that if I ever let myself get sucked into something like that I would never leave or do any of the things I want to do.
My number one passion in life is probably human rights and social justice. For me these things are connected to my personal faith. I feel like if we were created by God and if God loves all human beings unconditionally, then the least we can do is love our fellow human beings as well. Part of loving your neighbor is making sure that everyone is given the love and respect that they deserve as human beings. I also feel that when you hurt and dehumanize another person, you dehumanize yourself. So in an effort to retain my humanity, I must at least make an attempt to prevent others from being treated cruelly and inhumanly.
O.k. sooo getting on to my new goal/ambition... I have decided that I want to work in the non profit sector with organizations that advocate human rights and social justice. My ultimate goal is to start my own non profit human rights organization. I will write specifics in my next blog because this one is getting really long and taking me fooooorever to write.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Soooo Funny!
I can't decide which "character" is funniest in this video but it's probably a tie between Ramm Emmanuel and Joe Biden.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I Shall Not Walk Alone
So I've had the Blind Boys of Alabama's version of this song for a long time and I have Ben Harper's version of the song as well. Little did I know that this video existed. It takes the magic of both versions and puts them together. I seriously have goosebumps throughout this entire song.
If you didn't guess it yet, the song is "I Shall Not Walk Alone" performed by Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama. They actually did a gospel album together like five years ago and it's incredible. This song isn't on it but their respective versions are pretty awesome too.
If you didn't guess it yet, the song is "I Shall Not Walk Alone" performed by Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama. They actually did a gospel album together like five years ago and it's incredible. This song isn't on it but their respective versions are pretty awesome too.
Friday, March 13, 2009
"The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn"
**I wrote this a while ago in my myspace blog and I thought I would copy it and stick it in this blog too because it's such a great book. I've also read quite a few books by Robin Maxwell since finishing this and she has quickly become one of my favorite authors.**
I read this book called The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn, it's written by Robin Maxwell. It was an excellent book, probably one of the best historical fictions I've ever read. It was well researched, well written, and extremely accurate according to the actual historical events. It is the second book by Ms. Maxwell that I've read. The first book I read by her was Mademoiselle Boleyn, which was about Anne's time in the court of Francois I of France. It was this book that led me to read more of her work. Anyway... The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn is told from the perspective of both Queen Elizabeth I and Anne Boleyn. The book opens with the beginning of Elizabeth's reign as queen and takes place in the midst of pressures from her advisers to marry and in the midst of an affair with her Master of the Horse, Robert Dudley. Lady Somerville, one of Anne's ladies in waiting during her imprisonment in the Tower of London, delivers the diary Anne to Elizabeth. Anne, upon her impending beheading, asks Lady Somerville to give her diary to Elizabeth when the time was right, so that even though Anne had to die she could still be there to guide Elizabeth in some capacity. Towards the end of the book Anne writes a letter to Elizabeth and I thought it was really powerful and really spoke to the reality of women during the 16th Century. So I thought I'd share that part of the book:
I thought I'd share that part of the book because I really thought it was moving. It is like a lifetime worth of wisdom passed from a mother to daughter, that due to circumstances beyond their control, must be passed in the form of a letter. I love this whole section of the book but I think my favorite piece of wisdom in the letter is where Anne tells Elizabeth, "Let no man be your master. Love, lust, marry if you will, but hold apart from all men a piece of your spirit". Obviously, in a literal sense she is warning Elizabeth to be wary of men and their intentions and desires, but I think it's more that just a warning about men in a romantic way. I think that she is telling her to keep a part of herself secret from all people. I think that it is so important to keep a part of your soul hidden from the world. Hidden so that it may stay pure and unblemished by the ambitions and insecurities of others. There should always be a piece of your spirit, of your soul, that belongs completely to you. That is what Anne did. She had all of these powerful men telling her how to live her life but she never gave in. She was pretty much a pawn in the schemes of her father, her King, and the most powerful clergyman in England at that time but she took any adversity that they handed her and persevered. Most women when faced with the advances of a lecherous King, advances that will basically ruin her life but one's that she cannot really say no to, when faced with this King's advances she took all the strength she had and she demanded that she still deserved dignity. She demanded that she would be his wife or she would be a virgin courtier, but she would NOT be his torrid mistress. That took balls. People were ruined or killed for lesser things than that. The only time Anne ever gave in was when she thought that she would be risking her daughter's life if she didn't comply with Henry. I know that these aren't Anne's actual words but from everything I've researched about her, it seems that this is probably how she felt. In a little twist of irony and poetic justice, it turns out that even though Henry had Anne killed so that he could move on to the next wife and possible male heir, it was their DAUGHTER Elizabeth that turned out to be the next great Tudor monarch. She was a monarch so great that she may actually have outshined her father. To this day she is probably the greatest Queen in English history. I was reading this book by an English historian and he referred to her as "The Great Queen" through out the entire book.
On a side note. If you are interested in Tudor history and Anne Boleyn, DO NOT read any Phillipa Gregory books or see The Other Boleyn Girl because they are pure trash. These things are technically categorized as historical fiction but they are FAAAAR from actually being even mildly historical. But the television show The Tudors is Ah-mazing. Natalie Dormer is the best Anne Boleyn I've ever seen on TV or in Movies.
I read this book called The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn, it's written by Robin Maxwell. It was an excellent book, probably one of the best historical fictions I've ever read. It was well researched, well written, and extremely accurate according to the actual historical events. It is the second book by Ms. Maxwell that I've read. The first book I read by her was Mademoiselle Boleyn, which was about Anne's time in the court of Francois I of France. It was this book that led me to read more of her work. Anyway... The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn is told from the perspective of both Queen Elizabeth I and Anne Boleyn. The book opens with the beginning of Elizabeth's reign as queen and takes place in the midst of pressures from her advisers to marry and in the midst of an affair with her Master of the Horse, Robert Dudley. Lady Somerville, one of Anne's ladies in waiting during her imprisonment in the Tower of London, delivers the diary Anne to Elizabeth. Anne, upon her impending beheading, asks Lady Somerville to give her diary to Elizabeth when the time was right, so that even though Anne had to die she could still be there to guide Elizabeth in some capacity. Towards the end of the book Anne writes a letter to Elizabeth and I thought it was really powerful and really spoke to the reality of women during the 16th Century. So I thought I'd share that part of the book:
My Darling Elizabeth,
When last I laid my eyes upon your sweet self you were not yet three years old. More beautiful than a painted doll you were, and as toward and gentle of condition as any child I have ever known. I remember that day, for the spring sun streamed blindingly bright through the nursery windows, and your tiny red satin gown seemed afire in the light as you toddled toward me, arms outstretched. Perhaps you have no memory of those early years but I can truly say, Elizabeth that though our times together were sadly few, you knew me and you loved me. Loved me with a fierce possessiveness that all thought was strange for such a small child. My lap was your throne and I your only subject. Whilst there ensconced you did demand my full attention, and allowed no interference to our intercourse. You commanded me of which songs to sing, which tales to tell, which places on your neck and ears and feet to kiss and tickle. I so cherished those rare, enchanted hours and hope you have some
memory of them, because I must die knowing I leave you a motherless child in a
cruel and dangerous world.
All signs say you will never wear the crown of England. Mary may reign and Jane Seymour's issue will surely take precedence, but if I am to die well I must believe that you will one day be Queen. 'Tis not the Nun of Kent's prophecy tells me this, though I do believe she saw the future truly 'fore she came to be the pawn of powerful men. But I see how the fates have such strange ways of turning suddenly and violently beyond out control. I see you one day ruling England for you have besides my determined blood, your father's royal lineage behind you.
Tomorrow I die because I lusted not for flesh, but to command my own destiny. This is not a womanly act, I know, but I have oft thought that in this way my spirit is much the same as a man's. In this world a woman is born with one master who is her Father. He rules her life until he hands her to a husband, who rules it till death. Many preachers preach that women have no souls. But some perverse twisting in my self has always kept me from obedience to men. I was but a girl when I first counted my self their worthy opponent. I defied them all- Father, Cardinal Wolsey, Henry. Held my ground like some knighted soldier on a battle ground. Mustered my forces,
advanced, retreated, fought many skirmishes, practiced diplomacy, won some great
battles. And lost the war.
But except for pain of leaving you, my child, I have no regrets. For I have truly lived as few women are privileged. I have known true love, fought for and won a crown, treated with Kings and Queens and Cardinals. Borne a child. Some say I am a witch, but you have read this diary and know my power came not from Satan.
Methinks my heart first hardened and so grew stronger with the loss of my first love, Henry Percy. I might have withered from that terrible misfortune but instead, like some torn and bleeding bear chained and baited by howling mastiffs in the pit, my ire roused I struck out again and again and lived to fight another day.
Though I loved my Father faithfully and two Henrys passionately and they did betray me, I will not tell you that all men are betrayers. Some I have known- your Uncle George, Thomas Wyatt, Norris, Weston, Breyerton were good men and true. And I forgive your father, Elizabeth, and think I understand the strangeness of his mind. For men love that which they cannot have, and hate that which they cannot control. I was both to Henry.
So, daughter, though I have suffered and shall soon die for this selfish need to rule my fate, I beg of you to do the same. Let no man be your master. Love, lust, marry if you will, but hold apart from all men a piece of your spirit. 'Tis thus that I shall grasp the headman's block with no regrets and never be afraid of death. And though before receiving sacrament I shall swear on damnation of my soul that I am innocent of all crimes charged to me, for you sake I shall yield my self humbly to the King's will and ask for his forgiveness.
I soon shall die yet I rejoice, for in you part of me lives on. My diary, which is your ancestral history, is my only legacy. But be assured that this mother's heart is filled with love for you, Elizabeth, and know truly that whilst in Heaven I shall watch tenderly o'er your self your whole life long. Adieu, sweet girl, adieu.
Yours faithfully,
Anne
I thought I'd share that part of the book because I really thought it was moving. It is like a lifetime worth of wisdom passed from a mother to daughter, that due to circumstances beyond their control, must be passed in the form of a letter. I love this whole section of the book but I think my favorite piece of wisdom in the letter is where Anne tells Elizabeth, "Let no man be your master. Love, lust, marry if you will, but hold apart from all men a piece of your spirit". Obviously, in a literal sense she is warning Elizabeth to be wary of men and their intentions and desires, but I think it's more that just a warning about men in a romantic way. I think that she is telling her to keep a part of herself secret from all people. I think that it is so important to keep a part of your soul hidden from the world. Hidden so that it may stay pure and unblemished by the ambitions and insecurities of others. There should always be a piece of your spirit, of your soul, that belongs completely to you. That is what Anne did. She had all of these powerful men telling her how to live her life but she never gave in. She was pretty much a pawn in the schemes of her father, her King, and the most powerful clergyman in England at that time but she took any adversity that they handed her and persevered. Most women when faced with the advances of a lecherous King, advances that will basically ruin her life but one's that she cannot really say no to, when faced with this King's advances she took all the strength she had and she demanded that she still deserved dignity. She demanded that she would be his wife or she would be a virgin courtier, but she would NOT be his torrid mistress. That took balls. People were ruined or killed for lesser things than that. The only time Anne ever gave in was when she thought that she would be risking her daughter's life if she didn't comply with Henry. I know that these aren't Anne's actual words but from everything I've researched about her, it seems that this is probably how she felt. In a little twist of irony and poetic justice, it turns out that even though Henry had Anne killed so that he could move on to the next wife and possible male heir, it was their DAUGHTER Elizabeth that turned out to be the next great Tudor monarch. She was a monarch so great that she may actually have outshined her father. To this day she is probably the greatest Queen in English history. I was reading this book by an English historian and he referred to her as "The Great Queen" through out the entire book.
On a side note. If you are interested in Tudor history and Anne Boleyn, DO NOT read any Phillipa Gregory books or see The Other Boleyn Girl because they are pure trash. These things are technically categorized as historical fiction but they are FAAAAR from actually being even mildly historical. But the television show The Tudors is Ah-mazing. Natalie Dormer is the best Anne Boleyn I've ever seen on TV or in Movies.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Since I always write about music, I thought it might be nice to post about something else for a change. Tonight I'm going to write about one of my absolute favorite movies. As you can probably guess from the title, the movie is Breakfast at Tiffany's. This movie is timeless, a classic, and it's themes are universal. Not to mention that this is Audrey Hepburn in some of her finest acting ever (George Peppard isnt too shabby in the film either). I've always really admired Audrey, she was so classy, stylish, smart, strong, and caring. She truly was a movie STAR. I love this movie so much that if I'm ever lucky enough to get married, I want to have a Breakfast at Tiffany's themed wedding. Strictly classy of course, nothing cheesy lol. Little black dresses, coffee and pastry cocktail hour, and Moon River--> Good stuff! =)
This is the original trailor for the movie:
This is the final scene of the movie and one of my favorite scenes ever.
PS. Don't watch this video if you haven't seen the movie because it will ruin your experience when you finally do watch it.
This is the original trailor for the movie:
This is the final scene of the movie and one of my favorite scenes ever.
PS. Don't watch this video if you haven't seen the movie because it will ruin your experience when you finally do watch it.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
So in continuing posting about my obsession with music... I'm going to post about The White Stripes. I don't think that there is a song of theirs that I don't love. Jack White is a musical genius, and that's not just my opinion either, Rolling Stone Magazine even listed him as number 17 on their list "The 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time". Not only is he a genius, he is also sexy as hell. I have the world's biggest crush on him. Aside from just finding him physically attractive, I aslo find his ridiculous amount of talent to be sexy too. I love how he's kind of weird too lol.
This video, "Conquest", is extremely cool. It's from back in 2007 though, because the White Stripes haven't released any new music or toured at all for the last few years because of Meg's anxiety issues. Apparently touring is "traumatic for her". That should work out well for her since touring is a musician's bread and butter.
Conquest
This is from myspace video and its their only video on myspace. Almost all of their videos have been taken off of youtube because of copyright issues... BUT you can, and should, watch them on their website http://www.whitestripes.com/video/video.html .
As much as I love the stuff that he does with The White Stripes, his work with his other band, The Raconteurs, completely takes things to another level. I'm definitely going to post something about them seperately at some point.
This video, "Conquest", is extremely cool. It's from back in 2007 though, because the White Stripes haven't released any new music or toured at all for the last few years because of Meg's anxiety issues. Apparently touring is "traumatic for her". That should work out well for her since touring is a musician's bread and butter.
Conquest
This is from myspace video and its their only video on myspace. Almost all of their videos have been taken off of youtube because of copyright issues... BUT you can, and should, watch them on their website http://www.whitestripes.com/video/video.html .
As much as I love the stuff that he does with The White Stripes, his work with his other band, The Raconteurs, completely takes things to another level. I'm definitely going to post something about them seperately at some point.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Best
This is the poem that we put in the little program/handout/whatever it's called thingy at Dad's funeral. This poem is so fitting to who he was that I couldn't read it at all last week without crying- a lot, and I still don't think I could read it out loud... but idk I kind of felt like posting it.
I'll probably post things in here about him or just dealing with stuff from time to time because I'm not really one to vocalize my feelings very often or even very well. This helps to serve as an outlet for some of my thoughts/feelings/emotions. I'm still going to post what I think should have been said at the funeral, I just don't know when I am going to be able to sit here and write it without being disturbed by a thousand people.
"The Best"
God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered
"Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
and although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke out hearts to prove to us
he only takes the best.
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